What Are the Odds of Finding Mr. Right Online?
The odds of finding your soul-mate online are a lot better than you may think. It doesnt happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and moneynot to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
(1)There is a wide range of men to choose from. You arent limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
(2)You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. Youll even see a picture of him.
(3)You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
(4)Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
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The Advantages of Online Dating for Women
In the past, i.e. the 1990s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PCs or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.
There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for the one.
If you dont believe me, just ask your friends in the real world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.
Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:
(1)You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.
(2)You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No morethe world is your oyster. You can go through hundredseven thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.
(3)The safety factor is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.
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Online Dating Safety for Women
Online dating can be a fun and certainly a rewarding experience for women of all ages. Maintaining your safety while doing it is simply a combination of using common sense and exercising good judgment. Online safety rules are the same as real world safety rules.
You wouldnt give your name, address and phone number to a strange man that you met in a bar or on the street so you should never do that online either. Play it safe. Get to know this man who could turn out to be Prince Charming before you give out any information that could make it possible for him or others to trace you. Dont tell a stranger exactly where you work. Say that you are a legal secretary (if thats what you are) for a mid-sized law firm.not that you work for Brown, Smith and Jones Attorneys-at-law. It is safe to tell him what city you live in but you should wait to be any more specific than that until you have been chatting and exchanging emails for awhile.
Use only the tools provided by the dating service you belong to. Most offer chat and private email on their site. Do not give out your isp email address. If you must give out an email address make it a free one such as Hotmail or Yahoo. Your isp address is traceable for anyone who wants to go to the trouble.
When the time comes for you to have your first face-to-face, make that first meeting in a public place and during day light hours. Take a friend with you or arrange for one to call you on your cell soon after the arranged meeting.
Rememberyou ARE in control so do not let anyone pressure you into revealing more personal information than you are comfortable with revealing.
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Online Dating For the Single 30 Something Woman
Life isnt fair. Men get all the breaks. Youve devoted all of your 20s to getting your career off the ground. Not that you havent been datingyou have, but not seriously. Now here you are30 something and there is no long term relationship in sight. You can actually hear your biological clock ticking. You have a precious few years to find a man to fall in love with, make him fall in love with you, get married, and have a baby or its lights out. You already know all of the men in your social circle. Not that they arent nice guyssome of thembut none of them are your soul mate. Whats a girl to do?
Consider online dating. You have the opportunity to read hundreds of profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in search of that someone that will be right for you. Maybe he will live in the same city you domaybe he will live across the country or even in another country altogether. You arent limited to only those men that you come in contact with personally. The possibilities are almost endless.
Is online dating safe, you ask. Arent the online dating sites made up entirely of perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes in assorted shapes and sizes? the answer is, no they arent. Not anymore anyway. That was true when online dating first came on the scene but now it is mainstream. Its as safe as you make it using common sense and sound judgment. Use the same caution that you would when meeting any stranger. Dont give your real name, address or phone number until you feel safe doing so. Dont rush into a face-to-face meeting until you are confident and then make the first meeting in a public place and during daylight hours. Give it a tryMr. Right might be a few mouse clicks away.
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Nice Girls Do It, Too!
It is absolutely true that when online dating sites first started they were populated entirely by perverts, sexual predators, weirdoes, social misfits and emotional wrecks but that is no longer true. Online dating has gone mainstream and has lost all the social stigma it once suffered. Single people of all ages, races, religions and both sexes do it. Short people, tall people, thin people, obese people do it. People from every developed country in the world do it. Nice girls do it, too. The reasons people join online dating sites are as varied as the people who join but mostly they join for three very good reasons: (1) Time (2) Money and (3) It works.
Time: You can go through hundreds of online profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in the same length of time only one real world date takes and the screening is already done for you. You can tell right away if a guy is only looking for casual relationships or long term commitments. How many times have you worked 8 hours, gone home and spent another hour getting ready to go out then gone to the local hang-out for singles only to see the same old jerks, losers and drunks that are always there?
Money: For the price of one evening out on the town you can enjoy an entire month of meeting men from the safety of your own home.do it in your jammies or sweats and with a beauty facial working its magic.
It works. It really does work if you are willing to do the right things. Write a profile that grabs attention, post recent pictures of yourself, be fun and interesting while chatting with the men you meet on line, answering emails promptly and being on time for a pre-arranged online meeting.
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Mr. Perfect Does Not Exist!
The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you wont find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isnt among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is what.
Its true that online dating, while in its infancy, was only made up of perverts, sexual predators, nerds and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of the single person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people cant all be wrong. Ask your girl friends if they have ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and maybe more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you. It doesnt matter what any of your numbers arelike age, height, weight or income either. Somewhere out there in the big wide world there is a man who will like you..then love you.and think that you are beautiful and desirable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world is completely different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. Its even different from one part of this country to another.
Find an online dating site that fits your needs. Write a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few mouse clicks away.
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How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites I dont recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of…outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbianslike I saidalmost anything you can think of. So whats a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.
Here are some things to consider:
(1)Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2)Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A)Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B)Chat and IMs? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IMs on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C)Outside Eventssuch as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D)Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E)Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
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Blind Date vs Internet Date
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date.a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. Its less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entre has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final fouryou arent into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim.you havent sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, Volunteering is a waste of time because you cant help those people anyway. You look at your watch; see that its only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you dont need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the others favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is latevery latewhere Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend setting you up and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isnt there? Now which one would you rather have?
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A Woman’s Guide to Writing a Great Profile
OKthe time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams but where to start? Maybe writing isnt even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will likemaybe someday loveYOU.THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you wont like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really dont want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
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A Womans Donts of Online Dating
There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.
While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for detailsthen provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesnt know when to shut up or how to listen.
Never, ever, EVER lie. I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like youeven come to love youfor exactly the person you are.
Dont be too eager. It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest. I dont mean play hard-to-get. I mean, dont push for a face-to-face meeting. Dont email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.
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